Hello. Mind Rest. My thoughts.

 
As I write this, Im sitting at a dark, scratched up hightop table at Starbucks, drinking coffee, earbuds in, working on Sunday’s message. Well, trying to. My mind gets so distracted, aaaand that’s why somehow pulling up my blog site from years ago when I should be nose deep in the book of Philippians.

I used to blog 3-4 times a week, but that was years ago. I enjoyed it. It is a stress reliever to unload your mind on a keyboard. The last time I blogged was May 2013… where have the past two years gone?? I’m still pastoring EC on the side, running a team of Merrill Lynch mortgage consultants during the week. My youngest just hit double digits, my oldest will be a teenager in a few weeks. Time flies. I’d like to jump on the blog track again. It’s therapeutic.

One of my biggest obstacles is rest. Oh I get sleep, but I’m talking about mind rest. If I can discipline myself to do that, I may have some blog worthy words to jot down here in the future.

The glue that mends that which is broken

This morning I phoned an old friend. He has been going through a terrible time in his marriage. The picture is bleak. It seemed hopeless… though I could hear a glimmer of hope in his voice.

“I’ve been going back to church. I’m not where I need to be.  I just feel like I gotta work on me first.”

There couldn’t be a better perspective. To solve your problems, start with yourself. It may seem like it’s her fault, it’s his fault, it’s their fault, it’s my circumstances, it’s my job… the list can go on and on. The thing the devil wants you to do is blame someone else. It’s been happening since the beginning.

“The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” (Gen 3:12-13 esv)

I wonder how the conversation would have gone between God and the first couple to walk on this earth if they hadn’t have first blamed others?The first step in the right direction is to take personal responsibility. It’s me.

My friend couldn’t be doing anything better than to begin to work on himself first. If you’re having marriage problems, if you’re having problems with your kids, if you’re having problems at work; stop, look in the mirror and ask yourself, “What do I need to change”.

“Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves.” (James 4:1 msg)

You can’t change other people, but you can change you. When “they” begin to see a change in us, it can cause in a response that can be quite surprising. “Well, they don’t deserve to be treated differently”… maybe, but neither do you. “Put on then…compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you” (Col 3:12-13 esv)

What do you need to change about you? Humility is attractive, it’s the glue that mends that which is broken.

 

 

No matter how hard I try

Sunday afternoon I spent pressure washing my fence. At 400 rotations per minute, the Karcher Dirt Blaster gets the job done, and done quickly. You have to have the strength of a fireman to hold this hog… sort of… not really.

We have a well that the sprinklers are linked into. The bad thing about that is it tends to leave a slight rust color stain on the fence. The algae and dirt came off in a second. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t pressure wash those red water stains out of the fence.

One of the greatest lies of religion is that if you work hard enough, you can erase the stain of sin in your life. But if we could do that, we wouldn’t need a Savior. The Bible says we’ve all sinned (Rom 3:23). Most would agree with that about themselves. But many think they are good enough to take care of their sin themselves.

“No man knows how bad he is, till he has tried very hard to be good” – C. S. Lewis

No matter how hard you try, you can’t erase the stain of your sin. You can’t be “good enough”, you can’t make it right. Well… there is one way, facing an eternity in a real place called Hell, the just penalty for our sin. But who wants to do that when there’s another way to be made right with your Creator.

Enter Jesus

“Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow” – Isaiah 1:18

Stop trying to make yourself right with God, there’s nothing YOU can do… It’s already been done for you on the cross. Accept that as enough; or work hard, real hard, and be left with nothing but defeat, frustration, and the stain of sin still there.

Barking at people

That’s my dog, staring down a fallen limb. First a low-grade growl, then a series of  two or three hundred barks… I just sat there and watched her. Though my neighbors probably didn’t appreciate it, I thought it was funny.

Apparently she thought it was an intruder of some sorts. Really, its silly. When you think about it, its kind of ridiculous.

As I was sitting on the back porch watching this play out, I thought, “Sometimes we do the same thing”. We bark at people because we…

• Don’t like them
• Don’t like how they act
• They aren’t “like us”
• We don’t approve of their actions
• They have a tattoo or two
• They don’t take our suggestions, like our opinions, or agree with us

Sometimes our complaint about them is legitimate. Other times its simply a matter of opinion. This goes on in the church, in the workplace, even in our own homes.

“Don’t grumble against one another…”Js 5:9 (esv)

One of the reasons we constantly bark at one another (other than just being an old grump) is that we lack an understanding. We’re “unfamiliar” with the issues we take up with each other.

What if instead of the low-grade growl, mumbling under our breath, or worse, talking to someone else about our problem with that person – we took the time to have a face to face conversation with them? Not necessarily to tell them we disagree, but to gain an understanding of where they are coming from. Author and civil rights activist Audre Lorde said it like this…

“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences”.

You’re not going to agree with everyone, as everyone isn’t going to agree with you. Newsflash… your opinion isn’t always right. Thank God we are different! What if the world was just like me? Perish the thought!

So next time you catch yourself barking at someone just because you disapprove or disagree with them. One, (this may be difficult for you) thank God that everyone isn’t like you. Two, be a responsible adult and ask them why they act the way they do. Don’t argue, just ask and listen. You don’t know where people are coming from or what they’ve been through. Perhaps you will gain an understanding that you didn’t know before. Who knows, you just may find out they have good reason.

Sidetracked

It was a Chevy Colorado, champagne in color, with a “Swamp Life” sticker on the back. It wasnt just another Gator fan, it was Darryl Gandy. The man has a long commute to work.

As the flow of traffic paralleled our vehicles, I looked over to give the universal hello sign for men… You may know it as the head nod. He didnt look my way, he was focused. He looked neither left or right. I even gave a quick honk of the horn… nothing. Eventually traffic aligned us again… he kept looking straight ahead, even after no less than four more honks.

The safest driver in Jacksonville, no doubt.

Was he listening to loud music? Perhaps some 38 Special? I dont know. Maybe he was freaked out at another possible lunatic with road rage driving in Jacksonville. “If I just ignore them, they’ll move on”. He had to have heard me honk my horn??

It reminded me of Proverbs 4:27 – Dont get sidetracked, dont turn to the left or the right. (nlt/kjv)

There are so many things that can get us sidetracked in our walk with God… family, friends, sports, a habit, a hobby, making extra money, worry, doubt, a co-worker. Distractions are detours, and you know when you have to take a detour, you can get routed to an unfamiliar area, it may take you quite a while to get to your destination.

The Bible says we are in a race and that it takes discipline (1 Cor 9:24-27), discipline to say no to the good so you can say yes to whats best. What’s wrong with family, friends, sports, a habit, or a hobby… maybe nothing inherently, but it can be if it draws you away from your devotion to God. It can distract us, causing us to turn to the left or right, in a direction contrary to the path God has for us.

What other things can potentially get us sidetracked? How do you stay focused in your walk with God?

What people think

Tuesday morning my eyes opened unexpectedly at 3am… I turned to Proverbs 29 to read a little and found this in v.25, “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.”

Fearing man…

• What will people think if I wear this?
• What will people think if I say this?
• What will people think if I befriend the person no one likes?
• What will people think if I hang out w/ someone who doesn’t know Christ?
• What will people think if I buy this or that?
• What will people think if I take a stand for whats right?
• What will people think if I try something new and fail at it?
• What will people think if I give my opinion?
• What will people think if I take a break?
• What will people think if I dont ___________?

Do you ever wonder what people will think of you? We all struggle with how we are perceived by others. But whats more important, what man thinks or what God thinks?

Your relationship with Christ is yours, not theirs… Don’t misunderstand me, God hasn’t called us to a private spiritual life, on the contrary, its to be public. And yes we are accountable to certain people God has placed over us, but the bottom line is, you’re accountable to God not them. You’re free to be yourself!

Often times pondering what people may think of you is disabling. It keeps you from being obedient to God. It keeps you from being who God uniquely created YOU to be. One of my favorite preachers, Junior Hill, said it like this… “You’re the best YOU that there will ever be.” I love that. That encourages me. It sets me free to be me! The KCV reads like this,

Fearing what people think paralyzes you; trusting in God’s approval will set you free.

If my actions are determined by what someone, or a group of people think, then really, I am a slave to what others think. That’s no way to live. The next time fear hits you in the gut at the thought of what people may say or think, just go for it, be yourself and say this out loud, “They can deal with it”.

Hello

Saturday night I went to a graduation party for one of my former students. It was great to see some people I havent seen in a loooong time. We talked, reminisced, and laughed together. Laughter is such good medicine! Time has flown by, it’s crazy to see students I pastored, now with kids of their own.

In almost every conversation I had, this always came up… “I used to get your little blog things in my email, where are they?”

No, I didn’t blot you out of the email list. I just havent written in a while.  I search my tiny brain for a response.

Here it is.

Pastoring & planting a church has taken a toll on me. I crunch mortgage numbers and scenarios by day, and am a father & husband by night. What time I have left over, I put into preparing messages for Sunday and our mid-week bible study. Dont get me wrong, I love writing. It’s therapeutic. There’s not much more I enjoy than putting my mind (small as it is) to work on a keyboard.

By the time I sit down to write, I’m either ready to fall asleep, or I simply stare at a blank screen and think…”I don’t have a single thought to communicate”, (or at least one worth reading) I blink, and then I chuckle at myself.

I’d like to get back into writing. I don’t know if they will be long posts or short – hopefully they will be short. I’ve opened my email to read someone’s blog post, while its good content, after two paragraphs something else gets my attention and I move on.

So for those of you who used to enjoy my rants, raves, and random thoughts; I may be posting again. We’ll see.

Kevin

The second thought

Today was my daughters graduation, there was an older gentleman who would not shut up as they were giving out awards! I was tempted to throw a hymnal at him. I refrained, but what if I didn’t? Though it would have felt good momentarily, I would have regretted it.

Have you ever done something and immediately regretted it? Or better yet said something, then wished you could take the words back. For me it’s not hitting send on that tweet, Facebook post, or Email. Chances are something within told us not to, but we ignored it. I’m guilty of this for sure.

If you have to think twice about something, go with the second thought. You know the one that says, “Hey this isn’t the wisest thing”? If we’d listen to that voice, it would be to our benefit. For some its their conscience, for those who are in Christ, its the Holy Spirit.

Don’t think three times about it, usually the second thought is enough. The more you think about it, the easier it is to rationalize it. You can try to make things right, but you can never undo, what’s been done or said.

Next time you’re tempted to do something, say something, tweet something, post something to Facebook, or send that email you’ll regret, take advantage of the second thought & avoid that regret.

People don’t learn what you preach, they learn what your passionate about

Last week I was following the twitter hashtags from a conference in North Carolina. D. A. Carson said this, “Students don’t learn what your teach, they learn what your passionate about.”

This doesn’t just apply to professors… It applies to: pastors, elders, parents, coaches, supervisors, and anyone else trying to lead. It’s not what we PREACH, it’s what we’re PASSIONATE about. Dont get me wrong, content matters, doctrine matters, but just because you communicate something doesnt mean people get it. You can’t tell your children to ______, unless your passionate about doing the same thing. We live in a translucent society. People can see right through us.

The next time you want to get your point across, ask yourself this question: “Do I believe this? Do I believe it enough to DO what I’m asking others to do?” Dont just tell them, SHOW them. As Johnny Hunt says, “Things are better caught than taught.” Maybe the reason others aren’t living up to your expectations is because you aren’t.

When they see you doing the same, they’ll follow.

What happened at our connect group tonight

Had a great time at our first connect group of the 2012! Here is a little of what was said…

• I’d get a tattoo on my ankle
• Aren’t you 77 years old?
• Then some hood rats showed up
• If I could play the lead role in any movie, it’d be Dumb & Dumber
• If I knew I wouldn’t die I would go hand gliding
• I would eat Dinner with Mr. Furley
• I hate scrubbing the floors
• My middle name is Lester
• Then John Wayne came on the scene
• And the police showed up

OK, so that was from an icebreaker we did. But on a serious note, we talked about: praying as a church for the next 90 days, we talked about focusing on worshiping God, we prayed for the gospel to be clearly shared, and for the Spirit to open the eyes of those who need salvation!

We start the first chapter of “The Grace Awakening” next Wednesday night. I’m looking forward to growing together in the Grace of God!